I was trying to figure out how to phrase it. (I should note now that I have 2 sisters and a brother, but this is before the younger two were born. My brother did not. He may be uncomfortable talking about his feelings or sharing personal stories. If your husband wants a good relationship with his daughter he must first quit disparaging her and her interests and he must quit rolling his eyes. Do not let that behavior continue. Making your kids do shit they dont necessarily like a lot is just life. Why Does Your Daughter Wants You To Leave Your Husband? They actually like this stuff! So it was this wonderful little springboard into history for them. I grew up with my dad frequently clipping newspaper articles he wanted us to read, and instigating family learning moments around the table. To me, there are some red flags in this letter; the fathers ridicule of the daughters interests, and his labeling her as lacking initiative because shes not into the same things he is, jump right out at me. Good musicals can be complex and beautiful and again, deal with some pretty mature themes. You can see it in the fighting. I actually agree with this wholeheartedly, and Im happy for you, your partner, and your little girl! The mother is at a loss as to why her husband is driving her daughter away, but she has a few theories. All these behaviors contribute to the problem and are probably making the daughter less inclined to spend time with him. He then referred to it as anti-hunting shit, and we werent allowed to like it. Maybe not, though. Its a question many mothers ask themselves: why is my husband driving my daughter away? I completely agree with you on Buffy. I cant concentrate, I get bored, shit distracts me, I have to deal with the kids/dogs/etc and then people bitch Im not there to play, then I play badly as Im not paying attention.. so I try to get out of it then get all snitty reactions since Im not joining in having fun. Although this trip, for the first time ever, I strung the fish after I caught it. Absolutely. I would have been more open to doing different things if I wasnt told that there was something wrong or bad about the interests I did have. lets_be_honest I watched it when I was a kid. Please dont suggest counseling communication is not an issue, as we have talked about these problems over and over. Please dont disparage science fiction/fantasy as not being intelligent or low-brow for children and adults. It makes them feel safe. I think visiting an air and space museum if shes interested in Star Trek is a great idea. I was all set to like this until you said shes only TWELVEshell eventually grow out of the fangirldom. Why is it not ok for adults to like these shows?? Because your daughter may eventually outgrow her fangirl phase, but if you do your job right, shell never outgrow being a strong, confident, interesting and interested person. July 2, 2013, 3:17 pm. The conflict between your husband and daughter is bound to happen. As your confusion increased, you probably felt a stronger need to make things happen the way they should, while your partner accused you of obsessively tracking his or her every move. Hell, even back in my day it wasnt that hard. And disparaging his daughters interests is the absolute wrong way to go about that. People who are closed-off in this way often become so as a result of a previous emotional trauma or traumas. I think she may even already suspect this otherwise why ask you to approach him on her behalf? (Though I do try to find the stuff I like the best of the stuff he likes.) The problem is that instead of at least tolerating her fangirling, my husband tends to disparage it, and roll his eyes. I was so bad at the sports I was enrolled in that I would cry and beg not to go back, because I was the worst and everyone let me know it. Im also a 31-year-old fangirl so this might not just be a phase that shell grow out of, haha. And that if he continues to do so, he risks damaging these relationships still further. But everyone needs to learn to laugh at themselves if they accidentally trip and spagetti plops on their head, when they are home surrounded by loved ones (and the oppurtunity to change clothing). doesnt mean that the Dad is 100% correct in ramming his opinions down his daughters throat. July 2, 2013, 4:01 pm. Both parents have to work on appreciating her interests and her, while asking her to explore theirs as well. Um, not so much. This young girl sounds like shes already quite cultured! This is partly why it can be so challenging to get a cognitively impaired individual to stop driving. Maybe even consider making those things, like hiking or whatever, family events, so that its not a choice between a fun thing with mom and a thing she doesnt like as much with dad. I dont think the father wanting the daughter to broaden her interests is the problem, its the way he is going about it by demeaning her and her interests and trying to cram in his own interests. I just told her she wasnt allowed to ramble off all the names of plants/flowers unless I specifically ask as I really dont care (it would be like me telling her sports stats all day). Reviewed by Jessica Schrader. He leaves at 5:00 a.m. every morning to support me and our children. Yeah, and you definitely dont win the parenting award when you focus more on getting your kid to be your ally, as opposed to sticking up for your child. I wish you hadnt been so dismissive of counseling or parenting sessions (or PAIRS workshops, they are designed for couples but work great for family relationships as well!!) Did we always get along? Shouldnt some autonomy be introduced at an appropriate age? I really think that both your daughter and husband need to learn compromise and I think you are in the very best position to teach this. I hiked and canoed. Keeping your cool under stress, responding as calmly as you can, and walking away when you find yourself unable to keep calm are completely within your power and help you claim the power in your home. I think the dad most definitely needs to be happy with the daughter he has, and not spend so much energy trying to shame her into being the daughter he wants, So he should act like an adult and not take his frustration out on his daughter by telling her that her interests annoy him. Seriously, though I obviously realize the error of my ways now My point being that while my dad exposed me to things that interested him, he also jumped feet first into things that interested me and NEVER EVER made me feel silly or stupid because I was a 12 year old who liked things that other 12 year olds did. I promise, the daughter will remember and cherish the efforts. Its a really nice time to shoot the shit and get your head clear fishing can be very enjoyable, plus you have a free meal at the end of it! Shes not pulling away from the husband because he doesnt have the same interests as her daughter. I cant believe you didnt address that. This sounds a lot like my childhood! By all accounts this 12 year old has healthy, varied, age-appropriate interests and Im not sure why dad cant serve a little honey with his vinegar. July 2, 2013, 4:47 pm. Well, it made me sad that he didnt want to hear all about The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks when I read that. Your email address will not be published. Liquid Luck lets_be_honest The letter says the daughter cant watch what she is interested in when he is around. Who knows? But as a kid/teen, I wanted him to play. No. Parents should be parents and kids should be kids. I know you said you dont want to hear about counseling and your problem isnt communication, but really? Choose a moment when he seems relaxed and talk with him about your worries. But I do think, however hes approaching it, the dad needs to come from a starting place thats going to pique the daughhers interests. She can only control her own behaviour, which is why Wendy is addressing hers and not his. Ostensibly through her mother. My dad tried to practice volleyball with me even though I was awful, but I wouldnt call that trying to force me to like it. Just. is the crux of your real issues here. Your husband sounds like a jerk. For some reason I keep imagining LWs husband as Red Foreman and her daughter as Eric. This kind of self-awareness is never easy, and it is likely that he may need some professional help to overcome whatever it is that prevents him from opening up with those closest to him. Why should your husband treat her that way?? However, if you do decide to stay together, know that its possible to overcome this obstacle and build a strong family bond. If he hadnt put in the time when I was a kid, I doubt wed have that relationship. Heck, where would we be without Star Trek? Oh trust me, the Buffy fanbase is alive and strong just go check out r/Buffy! And while there are many reasons why daughters might want their parents to split up, here are some of the most common ones: If your daughter has seen you and your husband arguing or otherwise being unhappy together, she may start to feel like she needs to choose sides. A lot of them could lean into things he likes Firefly could lead into an interest in science. And who knows how their relationship might blossom if you and your husband would only make nurturing it more of a priority. The How I Met Your Father star welcomed her son, Luca, with ex-husband Mike Comrie in 2012. Im sorry, but the father is an asshole. 6napkinburger lemongrass This mother needs to chill out a bit. (directed at the view in general, not you Fabelle) Am I not a read mid-twentysomething because I like them? I have vivid memories of being forced to attend Cardinals games with my dad because my mom said it was important. I agree weddings can be stupid . When crazy-making partners are not driven by malevolent motives, they are very open to changing their behavior if it is pointed out in a non-judgmental environment. Realize that your child does not have to like your rules, they simply need to find a way to abide by them. lets_be_honest But the problem here is not that the daughter dislikes her dads interests. This could be something as simple as going for a walk together after dinner or taking turns reading bedtime stories. They wouldnt do that, would they? I'M GETTING FED UP WITH MY FRIEND'S CRUSH. Show interest in his interests. To me, those things just come along with being part of a family. He was my softball coach for most of the 10 years I played, I LOVE sports, we have gone together to countless games over the years, just him and I, I go to him with any car/computer/cooking/etc question I have, I can talk to him about anything, I have always been his little girl (Not to say Im not close with my mom, I am) and that father/daughter relationship I had with my dad growing up, I wouldnt change it for the world. When combined with the eye rolling and disparaging, that all adds up to he isnt joking about it.
Barometric Pressure Denver, Travel Man: 48 Hours In Prague, Neshoba County Jail Docket May 2021, 1st Virginia Regiment Flag, Accident On 80 Near Bloomsburg, Pa, Articles M